"Oh, dear!" Lola cried, mock horror on her face. "Let me mop up my mess, before it stains your beautiful dress!" She pulled a wadded handkerchief from her purse and started dabbing at the spreading wet patch in Stella's lap. "That's quite all right," Stella said, scowling. "I can manage." "No, no!" Lola insisted. "I spilled it; the least I can do is clean up the mess I've made." "No," Stella insisted, her tone adamant, "stop!" Lola's eyes widened, and her mouth gaped. "You're a man!" she cried. "Just as I thought, you have male genitals--a penis and testicles!" Heads turned toward Donald and Stella--and Lola. "You're mistaken," Donald stated firmly. "There's no mistaking what I felt!" Lola cried. "This lady is no lady! She's a he--a man!" "You're drunk," Donald declared, anger harshening his voice. "Drunk and mistaken." "No, you're the one who's mistaken," Lola retorted, "if you think he's a she!" "Leave us alone," Donald ordered. Lola dabbed at Stella's crotch with the. Nothing special. We felt helpless and decided we wanted to make a difference. And isn't that what makes life worth living? Hmm?We discussed possibly launching a telethon, like a sexual "Jerry's Kids" type of deal. Tim had some excellent ideas along these lines. First, we'd have to get a phone bank going, with volunteers to work those ringing phones as donations poured in to help the victims of crippling sexual frustration and loneliness. Then, of course, we'd need a Poster Man or Poster Woman for sexual deprivation and unhappiness. (There'd be no sexual Poster Child of course, that's a WHOLE other telethon!).Our next door neighbor, Josh, seemed to be the perfect and ideal candidate for Sexual Deprivation Poster Man. He was 45, married for 20 years to his beautiful yet materialistic high school sweetheart, and therefore, we knew for an absolute certainty and beyond all doubt, that he hadn't had any type of sexual relations for approximately 19 1/2 of the past 20 years. Yep, just your.
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